Out of my comfort zone

I am too comfortable.

Said differently, I do not push myself out of my comfort zone. I let circumstances do that. The successes of my life are strongly due to the circumstances in which I've found myself.

And now, in this late period of my life, there are relatively few circumstances where I am driven to discomfort.  Worse, most of the time when I am uncomfortable, I can stop doing what made me uncomfortable. I can extract myself from circumstances. That’s a problem.

I'm out of my comfort zone if things are going too poorly.  I'm also out of my comfort zone if things are going too well. Both lead to inaction. So I'm comfortable when things are going "as expected" which means that they are routine re-enactments of that which I already know how to do. Out of that comfort zone, I quickly disengage and go to inaction. Unfortunately, I am fairly comfortable with inaction. That makes it a stable state.

I want this to change.

I know that I want to grow and improve. I can visualize parts of the life I would like to have. I have a vision of what I would describe as greater success. But I didn’t have a vision of what succeeding looks like.

Now I’m building that vision and planning how to realize it.

To first order: succeeding looks like doing things that make me uncomfortable, that put me outside my comfort zone. Succeeding looks like staying there, despite the discomfort.

Succeeding looks like acknowledging a poor outcome, examining what went wrong, staying with the discomfort, and making another attempt. Succeeding looks like experiencing an exceptional outcome, acknowledging the success, sticking with the discomfort, and taking the next step.

One way for me to acknowledge the success is to write about it.

Growth will never be comfortable. I know this intellectually. I know intellectually that I must seek out discomfort.

I am a meaning-making creature and my job is to remake the meaning of discomfort.  Not all discomfort leads to growth, but some does,

And I must take care to seek out that discomfort, experience it fully, and enjoy it.

Like right now.