God calling?

I admit this is weird, but it’s important to me, and it’s been a theme throughout my life.

I was raised as a Jew. I was told I was one of the Chosen People^TM. I felt I had a special relationship with God.

Eventually, I lost my faith in the God I was taught about. I became an agnostic, and possibly an atheist. But I never lost my desire to connect.

That desire to connect manifests itself this way:

I sit down to write something, and I start to write a dialog with something that calls itself God.

Is it God?

Let’s suspend disbelief and imagine that there is a God.

Then would that God come to me and cause me to write things?

Why not?

Who are you to tell God what She can’t do?

Not me. Not you.

I have a theory about God that’s not inconsistent with something that might be God-like, inspiring me to write in Her name.

Later

So, when I wrote this, I started reading scripture. And then I stopped reading it. And I stopped writing. Because, as I said, I’m very conflicted about this.

I’ve got a bunch of unpublished conversations with “something that claims to be God,” And I don’t know what to do. Or something that’s typing this does not know what to do. Or is typing that it doesn’t know what to do.

Where is any of this coming from?

Things arise in consciousness and manifest themselves in the world.

References

Here’s a version of the Quran in English written by a Lebanese-American engineer, Talal Itani. I’ve written to him. Perhaps he’ll help me. Update: he kindly replied to my query. I dropped the ball. Maybe I will pick it up, inshallah.

This translation is probably more authoritative and heavily footnoted.

Here’s a compendium of translations.

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