Not that I'M PISSED OFF or anything. Facebook keeps changing my app notification settings so that my front screen is spattered with on or more notifications of things that I don't fucking care to be reminded about. That's why I fucking turn the notifications off!
Not that I'M PISSED OFF.
I've turned off every notification setting I can turn off in the mobile App. At least every fucking one that I can find. And then when notifications pop up on my phone AGAIN!!!! I waste my time going back AGAIN to my phone Setttings->Sound and Notifications->App Notifications->Facebook and turn them the fuck back off. Not that THIS ANNOYS ME.
NOT AT ALL! NOPE! Not that it annoys me EVERY FUCKING TIME!
Facebook seems to do this shit whenever they get a chance. I'm pretty sure they do it when they download a new version. I'm pretty sure that they do it sometimes in between versions. I'm pretty sure that their algorithm is WE WILL DO IT WHEN WE FUCKING FEEL LIKE IT. FUCK YOU, MIKE.
So I've just turned notifications off again. And wasted another 10 minutes searching the web and looking at a bunch of articles about ways to turn off notifications in earlier versions of Facebook. Enough.
Using my deep knowledge of mobile application design, I've figured out a sure-fire way to keep Facebook mobile notifications off for good. I'm happy to share this with the world.
1. Click on the Facebook app icon.
2. Drag to "Uninstall"
3. When the "Do you want to uninstall this app?" dialog comes up, click "Fuck, yes!" If you don't see the "Fuck yes" button, then just click "OK."
4. Stick to FB on desktop where you have control. Or forget it entirely. Sadly I have people who I love and care about who post on FB, so, desktop.
5. Fuck you, Facebook.
6. You're welcome.
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