For years I’ve been imagining selling a product I’ve called SuperPlacebo, the world’s most potent and effective placebo. I bought some gel caps from Amazon and occasionally dose myself with a SuperPlacebo or two.
They work.
Sometimes amazingly well.
Today, for fun, I wrote draft marketing collateral for SuperPlacebo.
Want some? Contact me.
SuperPlacebo
No matter what problem you’re experiencing, a placebo from the SuperPlacebo family of placebos may be just what you need.SuperPlacebos are unmatched in their effectiveness, especially when customized and when coupled with appropriate conventional treatment.
Years of research
Years of research at Placebionix, the self-proclaimed world leader in the field, has produced the SuperPlacebo family. Placebionix uses a proprietary blend of hyperbole, amplification, and fabrication, which—according to customers—make SuperPlacebos the most effective placebos they have ever used.
Randomized double-blind placebo control studies (RDBPCS) have been the “Gold Standard” in intervention-based studies. In an RDBPCS, individuals are randomly assigned to treatment and control groups. Those in the treatment group get a treatment believed to improve the condition; those in the control group get a placebo—an inert substance or an intervention believed to be ineffective. In some cases, a third group is given neither treatment nor placebo but told to wait.
Placebo control studies are the standard because of the powerful “placebo effect,” which causes improvement even when there’s no mechanism for improvement.
The placebo effect is so powerful that even when patients are told that they are being given substances that do nothing, patients will show impressive signs of improvement.
Plecebionix delivers SuperPlacebos in capsules that are “certified empty.” They contain nothing but air. T
Ordinary placebos contain no active ingredients, but they do contain inactive ingredients. SuperPlacebos also contain neither active nor inactive ingredients. Placebionix scientists believe that the lack of both active and inactive ingredients could produce placebo effects that might be up to ten times those of ordinary no-active-ingredient placebos!
Customized SuperPlacebosAs effective as they are, SuperPlacebos can be customized to make them even more effective.
Placebionix scientists have determined[1] that bad-tasting placebos outperform good-tasting placebos; inexpensive placebos outperform low-priced placebos; placebos that are said to be extremely effective outperform placebos with no endorsement.
Customers can use these effects to create their own Customized SuperPlacebos, which may be even more effective than ordinary SuperPlacebos. ## Customizing your SuperplacebosHere’s how you can custom your SuperPlacebos.
- You can fill your SuperPlacebos with substances that taste bad to the person taking the placebo. By testing a variety of bad-tasting substances, you can maximize the placebo effect. * You can buy premium SuperPlacebo capsules: SuperPlacebo Silver, SuperPlacebo Gold, or SuperPlacebo Platinum capsules. Other than color, premium capsules are identical to regular SuperPlacebo capsules but can be more effective the more they cost.
- You can tell yourself, or have someone tell you that your SuperPlacebos will be extraordinarily effective.
[Note: If you feel you will benefit from premium SuperPlacebos and cannot afford them, let us know. As a public service, we will provide you with premium capsules at whatever price you say you can afford. Remember, of course, the less you pay, the less effective the capsules will be.]
People sometimes have adverse reactions to placebos, even though nothing in the placebo could have physically caused either a good or an adverse reaction. This effect, called the “nocebo effect,” is opposite to the placebo effect. Placebionix scientists have found that they can reverse the nocebo effect in some cases by inverting the capsule; in others by inverting the person taking the capsule. Others have changed the nocebo effect by putting something different in the capsule.
Plecebionix scientists are continuing to make regular placebo technology breakthroughs. We’ve found that SuperPlacebothe, along with meditation, yoga, or exercise, is much more effective than SuperPlacebos alone.
A recent study demonstrated that for some people, merely looking at SuperPlacebos can be even more effective than taking them.
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