Why do kids misbehave--and why do we misbehave, too?

Haha, it’s a trick question. Kids don’t misbehave. And neither do we adults.

They can’t. We can’t. Kids and adults can only do what’s most rewarding.

What’s wrong with doing what’s most rewarding?

We do what our systems let us do

If we’re trying to do fucked up things, it’s because our reward systems are fucked up. If we do it in a fucked up way, it’s because our operating systems are fucked up.

Are we misbehaving?

Is a computer misbehaving if it’s programmed wrong?

Initial programming

Yeah, I know. You’re not a computer. Neither am I. I’ll grant that we develop some agency as we grow to adulthood.

But consider how we develop.

We’re initially programmed and conditioned by biology. Can’t argue with that, can you? And biology has fitted us out with a ton of cognitive errors and biases. We know that.

We’re later educated and conditioned by our parents and the rest of society. That goes on for years before there’s much room for personal agency.

Assuming a healthy environment, we’re taught mostly good stuff. But our parents and the environment are not perfect, and their teaching methods are not perfect. So some of what we learn is wrong—either because they taught us wrong or they tried to teach us right, but we got it wrong.

Self-programming

Eventually, we modify our own code.

Life presents us with problems that we haven’t been taught to solve — no fault to our parents, or society. Our environment can’t teach us everything. We have to use the tools that we have to generate new knowledge and add to our own code. We might discover errors in what we’ve been taught and have to correct the errors.

We use new knowledge to modify our own code.

How do we generate that new knowledge?

We can only use the tools we have. We guess at solutions. We use the knowledge (or misunderstandings) we’ve been given and try to figure out theories from the raw data of experience. We might seek out teachers and try to learn what they might teach us.

With our flawed biology and our imperfect prior knowledge, some of what we guess will be wrong, and some of what we conclude will be wrong. Sometimes we’ll choose bad teachers who will introduce new errors.

We do the best we can.

But we’ll still have cognitive errors and data errors, including errors in our reward systems

How do we fix the errors that remain?

We can’t fix errors unless:

1. We’ve learned how to detect errors
2. We acquired a toolbox filled with ways to analyze and fix errors
3. We find that detecting them, finding them, and fixing them is rewarding

We do what’s rewarding, no matter what

Whether we fix your cognitive errors or not, we’ll still do what’s most rewarding.

If we don’t fix our errors, then what’s most rewarding may be fucked up.

Too bad.

Following my own rewards

Right now. I’m writing this because it’s the most rewarding thing that I can do at this moment. That’s the way my reward system happens to be wired.

I might stop writing before I post this.

And I’ve done that, lots of times, because my reward system was fucked up.

But I’ve been hard at work detecting and fixing errors in my reward system—and MyOS

I will only stop writing if this is no longer rewarding enough for me to continue—or if something else becomes more rewarding.

Otherwise, I have no choice. I’m going to finish this and post it.

And if I don’t, I know what to do. I’m going to find and fix the cognitive errors that stand in the way of posting it.

And I will do that because finding and fixing those errors is also rewarding.

QED

Edit: see! I did.

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SSDY and improving MyOS

Today I wrote my Daily Pages on https://750words.com/ and then read a couple of the Pages I wrote in 2010 when I started writing them online.

SSDY. Same shit, different year.

“Seriously, dude. How can you still have the same problems and be trying the same solutions? It’s been ten years! Haven’t you learned anything?”

Have I learned anything?

After some reflection, my answer is: “Yes, I have.”

Maybe I could have done better, but (thank you, Past Me) I’ve done well.

I prefer the 2020 version of me to the 2010 version.

It’s not as zippy, not as shiny, but it sees the world more clearly, and with more understanding than the earlier version.

I’m sure of that.

(Side note: I started to describe the 2010 version as the “older version,” rather than “earlier version.” But the 2020 version is older than the 2010 version. In other words, the older version is the younger version. Language is fun!)

So what do I do about the problems that I wrestled with in 2010 that I still have not resolved? Things like this from (18 April 2019 (the link won’t work for you, sorry. It’s for me.)

I’m scattered and fragmented and all over the place. I make up my mind to do one thing and do another.

Sound familiar?

SSDY.

I’m still wrestling with that problem and trying to solve it much the way I am trying to solve it now: make a list (I was into GTD at the time) and only do what’s on the list.

SSDY.

But not all the same.

I have had insights. I have made progress as a result.

If we think of an idea as a seed (the germ of an idea), some of my ideas have never even sprouted. Others have borne fruit, and I’ve integrated some of those into what I’ll call MyOS: My Operating System.

Past Me, Future Me, Present Me is an idea that’s fully integrated into MyOS.

So is the Power of Gratitude and the Power of Forgiveness.

In the posts I read this morning, I found some seeds that might—with a little care and attention—bear fruit.

And with a little work, they, or some other fruitful ideas, might become MyOS improvements.

SSDY?

Well, some of the shit is the same, that’s for sure. But some are different.

Thank you, Past (ten years ago) Me, for writing this shit for me to find.

Hey, Future Me (and present and future others). This is for you.

Here are a couple of possibly sproutable ideas that I found this morning.

When managers read status reports, they suffer from illusions. When they believe them, they suffer from delusions (link)

The one really good thing I did today was to sit down and let the voices in my head say whatever they had to say. Let me restate that for the record. I have voices in my head. I’m not an integrated human being. I fight with myself. Sometimes I win those fights, but often I lose them. (link)

I am not reliable. I am responsible. There’s a distinction I am going to make between the two. Responsible means that I respond. Reliable means that I can be counted on to produce the same result, or a predictable result on repeated trials. I cannot. I will always try to do things in different ways, to explore alternatives. In some ways, my lack of reliability helps make me responsible. (link)

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