Linkus clickbaitus, the common clickbait link, was unknown forty years ago. Now it’s rapidly filling its ecological niche, spawning fast-growing and fast-evolving varieties like L. clickbaitus outrageus, the outrage link, and L. clickbaitus memei, the common meme.
Linkus clickbaitus
While some varieties of Linkus clickbaitus are benign and some are beneficial, most are harmful. “L. clickbaitus is polluting the noosphere,” says one scientist who studies the evolution of human reason and scientific thought into a new evolutionary geological layer. The noosphere represents the planetary ‘sphere of reason.’
“L. clickbaitus affects the fabric of understanding that holds society together in the same way that moths affect clothing,” says one scientist. Another says L. clickbaitus is more like a plague of locusts.
Behavioral altering parasites
Others disagree. “Linkus clickbaitus is a behavior altering parasite,” says one.
… behavioral altering parasites change the behavior of one of their hosts “Host (biology)”) to facilitate their transmission “Transmission (medicine)”), They affecting the hosts’ decision-making and behavior control mechanisms in ways that harm the host, but help the parasite.
Mice infected by the protozoan _Toxoplasma gondii lose their fear of cats. Instead of hiding, the mice expose themselves. Cats kill them, eat them, and thus spread Toxoplasma gondii to more mice.
Viruses from the family _Baculoviridae make infected caterpillars eat incessantly, climb higher, then cause the caterpillar “cells secrete enzymes that ‘dissolve the animal into goo,’ raining down clumps of tissue and viral material for ingestion by future hosts.” (Wikipedia)
The hosts that L. clickbaitus infects have unique abilities. The behavioral changes that L. clickbaitus can evoke makes L. clickbaitus a more significant threat to humanity than pollution, climate change, or nuclear proliferation.
Behavioral altering clickbait links
L. clickbaitus typically induces two forms of behavior. Both are costly at best and destructive at worst.
Some strains of L. clickbaitus cause human hosts to forward the link to their friends. When a host does that, they are unknowingly spreading the infection. At a minimum, the sent link will consume the economic value of the time that the target takes to read it and delete it.
At its worst, L. clickbaitus will make the host click the link. Clicking exposes the host to more complex and carefully engineered behavior-altering content. Often the content has other strains of L. clickbaitus embedded within it.
L. clickbaitus and the content that it leads to have coevolved. Each helps the other. Without the complex content, L. clickbaitus leads nowhere. Without L. clickbaitus, the content spreads more slowly and less widely.
By itself, L. clickbaitus wastes time. And time is money. But tied to the complex content, the L. clickbaitus can lead to the destruction of property, violence, and even war.
Stopping L. clickbaitus
Humans are the means that L. clickbaitus uses to spread itself and the content to which it’s attached.
We can keep L. clickbaitus from spreading in several ways.
Before forwarding a link: ask yourself: is getting it likely to improve the life of the person to whom you’re sending it? If not, don’t send it. If you’re sending it only to let someone know you’re thinking of them, then send instead a message telling them that.
Before clicking a link: ask yourself: is reading it likely to improve your life? If not, don’t click it.
We can stop L. clickbaitus. But to stop it, we need to do our part. If not, it will continue to evolve and reproduce rapidly. Follow the rules above.
And forward this article to everyone you know.
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