Jan 12, 2018

Fifi and Raul and Mike and Bobbi

Family Jeopardy. Our three girls are standing in front of their buzzers.

Dana chooses the category: "People, for $100, Alex," Dana says.

The board reveals the answer. "Fifi," Alex reads.

All three girls hit their buzzers within milliseconds. The system can't tell which was first, so the tie goes to Mira.

"Who is Dad's imaginary girlfriend?" Mira says.

"Correct," says Alex.

"People, for $200," says Mira.

"Raul," says Alex.

All three girls hit their buzzers at once. This time the tie goes to Alyssa.

"Who is Mom's imaginary boyfriend?" Alyssa says.

"Correct," says Alex.

Our relationships with Fifi and Raul go way back--maybe even before we had kids. Yet despite my decades-long relationship with Fifi, I wouldn't recognize her if I saw her. I imagined her, but I never imagined what she looked like. I know she's beautiful, but hair color? Eye color? Height? Measurements? I have no idea.

All I know is that Fifi is beautiful, and she loves me. And that Bobbi isn't jealous of her as she would of a real girlfriend. If I had one, of course.
My friend Jim Reynolds once told me that he'd discovered that he had developed a new superpower: he was invisible to young women. I hadn't realized it, but as I looked at the young women around us at the Gogol Bordello concert we were at, I realized that I had the same superpower. It didn't make me happy.

But even though I'm invisible to most young women, I'm not invisible to Fifl.

Leave it to an imaginary woman to be able to see me as I am.